Be prepared right from the start and throughout for highly offensive language and sexual themes
Welcome, gang, to the latest episode of Celebrity Big Brother - The Summer Version, when last we left the housemates, things had turned a little political, Dan was sick a lot, Ben had the cold shoulder, Rodrigo received his alternate suit, Natalie as usual was running her mouth with a shedload of F's, B's and C's thrown in to anyone who would listen, party time in the house and Roxanne had fallen or was she pushed into the pool, you decide.
9.30am
Lights on and off we go for Day 3, and we see Ryan and Ben practising handstands against one of the walls in the garden. Ben is instructing Ryan on how to do this, and Ryan crashes against the wall and nearly lands on his head if not for the 'lovable eejit' grabbing his legs at the last minute. Roxanne is acting out in the bathroom. Possible candidate to walk, stating she misses her fiance or the place is not as she expected? Meanwhile, Dan and Jermaine discuss 'morning glory'
Big Brother announces that Ben, Dan and Rodrigo are free of their punishments, and that Rodrigo can collect his suitcases from the storeroom. Not long enough if you ask me, should have made them suffer a little longer.
Hardeep repeatedly shouts for Dan, as Hardeep has cooked him breakfast. This guy is not going to last long in there, as soon as he is on the block he's out of there first time of asking. Changed my mind about him being kicked out, bloggers prerogative and all that.
Big Brother has called Ryan to the Diary Room, and is asking him how he is finding the Vice Presidency
Ryan: It is a big responsibility, one I'm not sure I'm the best at. But if anything goes wrong I can blame the President. Such an out of body experience to be sharing the Big Brother White House with a Hollywood movie star. It's surreal. Shame as I feel like, this experience we were all going to share together, being separated feel strange. I'm one of the lads and I would like to cause some trouble.
Hardeep continues his DAN chant, and he finally gets Dan's attention with the cooked breakfast
11.31am
Sally questions Natalie if she had ever been to an orgy. Shocked looks all round, as expected. Not something you would ask out loud, Sally. Natalie said she has had an orgy before, and Sally starts probing for more information. Moving swiftly on.....
11.48am
Some of the housemates are acting in the bedroom
Hardeep is talking to Jermaine about Ben, when all of a sudden Roxanne slaps Ben right in the kisser which attracts a lot of attention. Jermaine then joins in the acting.
12.59pm
Roxanne is in the storeroom scoffing some biscuits, obviously aware there are cameras in there as she tries to move out of view. Meanwhile, Gabby talks about her ex Marcel, and how she found out he had cheated on her when his bit on the side (no pun intended) contacted her to explain everything.
1.10pm
Time for the shopping task as Kirstie and Ryan are summoned to the diary room. Nick is chosen as the Head of Defence and will oversee the construction of the wall.
Natalie asks Kirstie if there should actually be a wall in America, Kirstie just shuts her down with 'I'll leave that up to you', and then says she likes to keep her political views private, but her endgame is a world without war and insanity
2.29pm
Just going to try and explain this nice and straight, as enough blood has been spilled on social media and forums regarding this part of the task. Basically the housemates have to correctly build a wall in the garden using the bricks provided, if the wall is not built correctly they will incur a fail. Once the wall is built then they have to stop the invaders from stealing a green card. 2 hour time limit to build the wall. Natalie is running her mouth to Roxanne, while everyone else is building the wall.
She is still running her mouth to anyone who will listen, just get to work Natalie, and stop taking this so dam seriously. It's only a game at the end of the day. Does she seriously think Kirstie had something to do with this task?
Back to business, and Nick guides the wall construction, and yes Natalie is running her mouth again trying to be the centre of attention. Big Brother informs Nick the wall is not complete, but unfortunately they have incurred their first fail.
Ben is enjoying a hot water bath...and now back to the Natalie show
She is running her mouth about Kirstie in the Diary Room, and says she wants Kirstie out of office in her now usual foul mouthed way. Another candidate to go early, please make it so. Trying so hard and failing to be entertaining, but she has got a big fanbase building up so it could be difficult to get her out when it comes to chucking out time
Hardeep and Natalie are first on patrol, to cut a long story short they have prevent the invaders from stealing a green card or they will incur one fail. The invaders range from Trump, The Queen and Hilary Clinton amongst others, obviously not the real people but the crew in disguises
One fail incurred, as Trump managed to get away
Total fails: 2
7.47pm
While the task is ongoing, Gabby and Chloe talk about their relationships. Chloe is single and Gabby says she is seeing someone
Dan and Rodrigo are now on patrol, and next to hop over the wall is Trump's wife, but she is collared so no fail incurred.
8.59pm
Kirstie is in the Diary Room, saying Natalie is not happy with this task. Tell us something we don't know, Kirstie.
Meanwhile, Natalie speaks her mind about Hardeep. She explains she finds some of his material offensive. Hardeep asks her if she understands satire.
Sally and Gabby are now on patrol duty, but Sally is INSIDE the house looking for intruders. Did she not get the memo she has to watch the WALL. Meanwhile, yet another segment with Natalie, and she is venting to Rodrigo about her earlier conversation with Hardeep. She really does love the sound of her own voice.
11.07pm
Jermaine and Chloe next up to patrol, and up next The Queen is next to try and get a green card but she is also collared. Overall fails stay at 2.
12.32am
Jermaine and Chloe are still on patrol, and now here comes Hilary Clinton. She is collared, or is she? Big Brother announces Hilary did get the green card and so that is 3 fails for the overall task. Shortly afterward Big Brother announces there are no more intruders and housemates are free to leave the garden.
Kirstie is seen getting ready for bed, while Hardeep is talking about Trump and politics in general and guess who is there as well, yep Natalie. Oh and Sally is in attendance as well, and she is rambling about something or another, not making much sense.
1.49am
Back to Gabby's alleged affair, which she and Dan continue to deny. Natalie asks her if she f'd Dan, what's it got to do with you? She has denied it 10000000 times over.
Sally is in the Diary Room is talking about Hardeep
Sally: I do think he can be very opinionated, and I just think he is challenging. Given the wrong set of circumstances, I could turn like that with him. But I am not going to let him be like that with me. Tomorrow's another day with him.
And that is that for another episode, to be continued in Episode 5...
Final thoughts
Pretty much a Hardeep and Natalie centred episode. BB's way of engineering us towards getting rid of one of them if they find themselves on the block, perhaps? Or is that being too cynical?
News in, that the shopping task is ending in Episode 5. Will they pass or fail, stay tuned for the next installment.
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