Before we get underway, there is a warning from Marcus about highly offensive language, racially charged language, and sexual themes
Marcus: 13 celebrities entered the Big Brother house
We go straight into house action with a rehash of them all filing in, and Kirstie getting her 'presidency' from Big Brother. Some people suggesting she is getting this power, so they don't lose her too early. Really though this twist was supposed to be reserved for Stormy Daniels, but she pulled out about 2 hours before launch. More on that later, but first.....
Big Brother: Tonight Big Brother is making you the President of the Big Brother house
Kirstie: Thank you Big Brother
Fast forward to the unveiling of the twist
Marcus: But not all of the celebrities were equal
Big Brother: President Kirstie and her Vice President will have special powers and privileges....Big Brother can now reveal the public have elected Ryan as Vice President of the house
Opening credits, and we are underway for the first highlights of the series
11.01pm
Rodrigo asks Sally if she is picking up any energy, and Sally says she is picking the energy from the individual, she's as nutty as a fruitcake but I suspect she will stay in until near the end as the 'she doesn't seem to realise we are laughing at her and not with her' card
She goes on to say they all carry someone, and she speaks a few languages as Rodrigo wants to know who is with him spiritually. She asks him if he is South American, and he really mustn't do anything with his eyes, as he will make himself go blind. What the hell is she talking about? Answers on a postcard please.
Sally continues to ramble about something or another, and tells Nick he took the rap for something he didn't do. Ummm ok Sally.
Big Brother announces the President and Vice President suite is now open and all housemates are free to leave their seats
Not bad I suppose
In the suite, Big Brother call President Kirstie and say they are checking to make sure everything is ship shape and good for her, to which she says yes. She jokes about being arrested, to which BB says no she won't be, and she says she would like to order some nachos, chips and guacamole and her request is noted.
Back in the garden, Natalie removes some of the bottom half of her dress and goes for a dip in the jacuzzi, and shortly afterwards Chloe joins her in there along with Rodrigo. They are observed by the VP. Personal opinion, I think Natalie's going to be a handful, and please don't rap me in the mouth for this, but I have her or Hardeep down to get removed.
Kirstie tells Ryan she has actually been in the actual White House when Bill Clinton was president, and she attended a Christmas show and says the place is not as big as it looks.
11.17pm
Sally is already making predictions to Big Brother about her new housemates
Sally: You know when you get kids, and they're all having a laugh. How many times have I said to my children and grandchildren "One of you gonna be crying in a minute" I' m listening to that out there and that's what is gonna happen. Someone's gonna be crying in a minute, call me psychic. I'm dying to know what they are in for, because it's like, you know I looked at Hardeep, and "Hardeep why are you in the eye of the storm". Ok, he's a comic and really would love to be a comic than a chef. But I think I prefer his cooking to him being a comedian
Natalie wants the scoop on Chloe
Chloe tells about her kidnap ordeal, saying she was held for 6 days in Milan. Natalie is responding in her usual way with lots of f's thrown in, and really trying to get the gory details of it all. Chloe says the kidnapper wanted £300,000 and he couldn't let her go as he was part of this organisation. Natalie asks if the kidnappers were cute.
12.36am
Natalie has stormed the BB White House
She parks herself in Kirstie's chair, and picks up the phone pretending to call Mr.Trump. She's going to really divide opinion among the viewers. Some will want her out early, and others will want her to stay to the end. One to keep an eye on, no pun intended
Big Brother announces the bedroom is now open, and Roxanne is wondering where she will sleep as she doesn't want to share with a guy as she is engaged. Not sure she's told us enough yet....Yawn. There go the showmance hopes for the show, and I really hope they don't encourage anything.
1.01am
Kirstie and Ryan are summoned to the Diary Room for the next part of the twist. They have to issue 3 presidential orders
1. Climate change bill - One housemate to have cold showers until further notice (BEN)
2. Health care bill - Liquidised vegatable diet until further notice (DAN)
3. Foreign trade bill - One housemate to trade their suitcase with 'someone from another country' (RODRIGO)
And the s**t stirring begins...Please don't be excessive and let's keep the stirring to a minimum as you did a pretty good job in January, so don't break that streak please.
1.12am
Jermaine and Dan are having a kick about in the dining area, and Jermain does some MJ moves. Meanwhile in the bedroom, Ben is talking about his failed marriage to Chloe and Sally, but what is there to discuss. He married her, and was cheating within a week, end of story. I have a hunch this wife will be sent in there for a task at a later date. Then again I hope they don't do that, and keep outside contact out of this series.
1.20am
Hardeep is bonding with his fellow housemates
One of the hot favourites to be removed. He says he wants to get to know them through their food likes and dislikes. Whatever that means. Good start from Hardeep as he calls Dan, 'Adam', and says he thought he would hate 'Adam', and then starts rubbing and massaging Ben. Keep your mitts to yourself, Hardeep.
Rodrigo and Natalie are in the storeroom talking about Dan and Gabby thinking they have a history when both have denied it already. It would be just like BB to think of something to make people think there was something going on, hope they don't as that wouldn't be very fair on Dan's wife.
1.33am
Sofa gatherage as Kirstie and Ryan announce the 3 bills they decided on in the Diary Room
Ben - Cold showers until further notice
Dan - Slop until further notice
Rodrigo - Will trade his suitcase with 'someone from another country' and must wear the contents of the alternative suitcase until further notice
Nominations will part of this power, think that is pretty much a lock in
1.43am
Dan is not happy being on slop until further notice. Man up, Osbourne, you probably won't be on it for long anyway.
Motormouth aka Natalie makes her way to the Diary Room
Natalie: I am f'ing an amazing time. Big Brother, you have got me in a house with some real bad b*tches like what's up. I'm gonna tell you something right now, Chloe ain't going nowhere. Chloe going to be right here with me, riding this out for a cool million
She jokes that she wants Chloe to do her laundry and cooking, as Natalie does not do those things at home.
2am
Next up Roxanne is trying to squeeze herself into a cupboard, nuff said. Is she going to be the wallpaper of this series, you decide. She won't have a showmance because she is engaged, but you knew that already. So what possible storyline could she have in there? If she stays in there for a while, we'll have to see because it beats the hell out of me what she will get up to.
Meanwhile, Nick is telling Ben about breaking a bank, in this case Bearings. Ben is oblivious to what breaking a bank means. It means he lost them a lot of money, you bonehead. Nick explains the various stock markets and explains how he got out of control with stocks and shares and he wasn't detected until just before the bank collapsed and went on the run, or words to that effect.
2.39am
Rodrigo is enquiring about Gabby's history with Dan. Basically a story that was blown out of proportion in the tabloids, or as I like to call them comic books. To cut a long story short, her ex Marcel, who incidentally did cheat on her, went running to said comic books claiming her and Dan had an affair, something which they had both denied and it caused he and his wife, former Eastenders star Jacqueline Jossa to break up.
Cut to Rodrigo in the Diary Room, where Big Brother is reading him the riot act about using the N word not once, but twice.
Big Brother: At 2.40am, you used the N word twice. Rodrigo, this word is highly offensive and very likely to cause significant offence to both your housemates and the viewing public. Do you understand?
Rodrigo: Yes. Last night I was very excited to be here, and I had quite a lot to drink
Big Brother: None of that is relevant, Rodrigo. That is not an excuse. Big Brother regards your language in this instance, to be totally unacceptable. and Big Brother does not tolerate such language in the house. As a result of you using this language, Big Brother is placing you on your formal and FINAL warning. If you use this language in the house again, you will be removed from the house immediately.
Rodrigo a VERY lucky boy there, but there will be a removal in this series. Just a question of who it will be. Rodrigo lost a lot of his fanbase after that, if he's on the block for the first eviction I think he will be out. Something for social media and the forums to discuss, as they are not giving us much to work with in terms of live updates and very little live feed.
Kirstie and Ryan are bedding down for the night, obviously in separate beds, while Dan is in the Diary Room still griping about his slop
Dan: Vegetable shake for me is hell. I can't live off that. So, I don't know what you are going to give me, but I hope it fills me up in some way. I don't even like vegetables
In the bedroom, Roxanne is opening up to Hardeep. She tells him she is an only child and loves hearing about people's siblings as she has grown up talking to the walls. She explains how she used to roll her karaoke machine over to her window until the bus arrived. No, me neither. Hardeep tells her she is very well adjusted.
4.49am
Dan is still awake and says if he doesn't sleep, he will be so tired tomorrow and again mentions the vegetable shakes. Hardeep shouts out about if they s**t the bed, the bed will be s***ty amongst other things, before Gabby tells them to STFU
And that's a wrap for this episode
Final thoughts
An ok episode for the first highlights of the series. Everyone was fleshed out nicely in the time available. Wonder what the next part of Kirstie and Ryan's power will be, if they can stay away from nominations, then so much the better but that issue will probably crop up sooner rather than later.
Welcome back to Marcus, who's presence was much missed during launch night
Rodrigo's punishment was adequate, although it has divided opinion on forums and social media. There will probably be questions and explanations as long as this series, the fact remains he is still there, but I smell a removal coming. Whether it's him or someone else remains to be seen, but one gets the feeling someone will go to no fanfare or crowd and probably soon.
And so we move onto the Stormy Daniels situation, as she has told her side of the story and the Big Brother execs have told theirs.
The show's statement right here, which is probably the truer version of events and as Rylan said in that link NOBODY IS BIGGER THAN THE SHOW. Nuff said.
That being said, thank you for reading this post if you have made it this far, and keep those likes, retweets and shares coming in. All very much appreciated
Reminder, if you missed the launch review on Big Brother Radio, click here and also if you want to see BB on Blast's house tour click here
Check out BBSpy, Big Blagger, Big Brother 24/7 for any current information, and also if you want to talk about the highlights, evictions or finale join me and many others on the Digital Spy BB forum where you will be made very welcome.
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And until next time, stay frosty and keep on rocking.....
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